While fantasizing about what I would do to my ex-husband, his black widow fiance and my ex fiance if I ever caught them in a dark alley with no witnesses.  hmmahaaha.

Seriously though, I am most creative in my imagination March, April and May and Sept, Oct, and November of every year and write hundreds of pages of poetry during this time.  I attribute it to the fact that during these times, the veil between all times and space are thinist and my muse comes in LOUD and CLEAR!

Blessed be~
)O(
DragonBlue

I have been blessed with a beacon in every dark and lonely abyss of my entire life.  When I seem to hit the bottom of my world and I can no longer handle the players, cheaters, and liars of this world, I ask (sometimes I beg), for light to enter into my life, and so it comes to pass. 

This is a bit of a long story, so I hope you will bear with me as I tell the tale that brought the latest beacon into my life. 

Call me paranoid if you will, but there were three who decieved me 4 or was it 5 years ago, and conspired with each other to put me out of their way once and for all.  Without mentioning any names, let it stand to say that one was Mr. Spermy, my children's father, one was my fiance, and one was the fiance of my children's father. 

To make this long story a bit short, suffice it to say that between the three of them they took all I own, getting me a diagnosis of Bi-Polar I, so that I have lost my ability to work, as the state of Arizona does not believe I am capable of even looking for work let alone acquiring and keeping a job.  The circumstances of why this diagnosis came about was very suspicisious with too many coincidences.  Call me paranoid, but I don't believe in coincidences. 

Due to neither ex keeping financial obligations or promises to me, I had to call the father to take temporary custodial parenting responsibility for my children, and he of course would not take them telling me that he would leave us (all three of us) homeless in the street if I did not sign the paperwork that gave him temporary primary parenting rights.   Not wanting to see my kids in a homeless shelter or on the street, which is what I was facing for myself, I signed the paperwork making him promise that he would never try to take them from me and that he would give them back when I got on my fee again.   He sued me for child support instead.

Both my ex-finace and ex-husband were pushing all of my buttons, keeping me emoitionally raw and on edge, and then in steps the black widow spider, (the fiance of the ex-husband), and has $$ signs going off in her eyes as she looks at my children.  This is a woman who has 4 different children from 4 different men and all four she waited until she had the child then took the poor unsuspecting mates for most of what they owned for the 18 years of her child's life.   Her last two were turning 12 & 14 which meant very soon, she would be out some very healthy income.  My two were 4 and 7 at the time.  My fiance was kicking me to the curb every other weekend, calling their father to come get his kids, and their father was filling their head with; "your mother's an evil c*** and a wicked bi*** and you should hate her for what she believes." 

He got his wages garnished from a van we had purchased during the marriage, that was in my possession, though he would never sign the title over to me, (as instructed by court order in the divorce) so I could not license it, I could not insure it, I could not even sale it.  Needless to say it was repossessed.  But of course all of this was my fault.  He called and offered to sale me my children for $4200.00 which would pay off the balance and stop the garnishment.
My ex-fiance was thrice a millionaire but of course did not have the money to give to the children's father.  (yes the sarcasm is thick here.) 

The children's father whined and swore at me for three days and then finally asked me to have the paperwork drawn up to take the kids back as he was now losing his apartment and would no longer be able to afford to take care of them.  Instead of signing the paperwork I had drawn up, the sperm donar moved back in with his spider and started threatening me physically, and calling me foul names in front of my kids and talking nasty about me to them.  I applied for and recieved an injuction of harrassment which stopped him from speaking to me in any way. He could call and talk to the kids, but he was to refrain from speaking to me other than to ask to speak to the kids.

We had a hearing that I had filed without the paperwork I needed him to sign, and he showed with an attorney, (paid for by the black widow spider), and I had none.  His attorney and the judge refused to hear my plea for continuance so that I too could have council present.  They made mince meat of me.   Realizing that no justice was going to be met, and feeling that my children and I were in physical and mortal danger as his violence was not pretty, we left state without asking his permission. 

There was a federal warrant issued so I returned and turned myself in and was incarcerated for custodial interference for 60 days in a hell hole here in Arizona.  I was not allowed to contact the 'victim' (the kids father), for 468 days.  As a result I could not contact my children either.  First I had to find him and the spider for they moved 4 different times without placing a change of address with the courts or with the federal post office.  (nor did they file their address with the mvd)

I had supervised visitation after I found them, which he blew me off, court order and all, several times until I finally found an attorney to represent me without wanting $6000 up front to even talk to me.  He gave that up after I threatened to file contempt of court for not allowing to see my kids at supervised visitation.

Anyway, my attorney and I have been building a case against him due to his lack of concern for my parenting rights or any civil/human rights.  My girls are both failing miserably in school as he moves about every 2 months, due to none payment of rent.   He drinks constantly, leaves them alone all the time, has never taken them to a dentist and seldom takes them to a Doctor unless they seem ill enough to die or someone makes him take them. 

We went to court for a parental conferance and mediator recommendation with the children being interviewed and I thought finally I had won this case after five long years of struggling to get my kids back, as she recommended that I be the custodial parent, as I was more stable and able to help them with their academics and would take them to the doctor and dentist, not to mention counciling for the parental alienation they have had to suffer due to their fathers antics. 

The judge did not even look at the evidence, and instead of giving me custodial parenting rights, he gave me all the medical responsibilty with no way to pay for it or transport my children or even know if they were ill, for spermy dopes them up and sends them to school with a fever.  Their father has not even given me a valid insurance card for my children.

Now about that beacon.  I don't go out much and most of my life is now spent online writing poetry, maintaining my poetry groups and sites, and you might say I have a few fans and actually some really good friends as we share more of ourselves in poetry than anyone I have known in real life.  A fan, friend, that I converted to liking poetry, as he thought it was quite trite, and found mine to be much deeper than the child wading pool depth he was used to reading in poetry, I even inpired him to write a few verses him self.

We had not communicated much over the last year as I have been consumed with my children, then out of the blue on new years he sends me an email.   He at one time told me that somehow he felt that he was meant to play the part of Knight in Shining Armor in helping me get my children back.  Well, I took him up on this and asked that he hire me a private detective as I am on a very limited income getting disability for my diagnosis.  He has done so. 

He has been a beacon of light in my dark, dreary moment of despair that crossed thoughts with death many times before I emailed and told him the situation.  The neatest thing of all is he won't let me pay him back and is doing this for me with no strings attached, and all things will be coming to a head, I hope if miracles still happen, on Sunday this week. 

So if you have made it this far in my tail of a tale, keep your fingers crossed and send lots of positive energy our way in hopes that finally justice will be served. 

Blessed Be~
)O(
Dana

Sleepless in America

It takes a Village to Raise a Child

How Parenthood Changes Priorities

The above articles need some help in the ranks if you happen to view this blog, please click on all or one of the three as it would help me immenslely to sell these articles.

Thank you for your help. 

Love & Light~
)O(
Dana

My Children and my Spiritual path.  My 2 number one priorities.

When I ponder the subject of our many great rivers, I think of a Cree Indian Prophecy;

"Only after the Last Tree has been cut down,
Only after the Last River has been poisoned,
Only after the Last Fish has been caught,
Only then will you find that
Money Cannot Be Eaten."

The headlines read;

Patagonia's Pascua River Threatened by Massive Dam Project

B. Witte in Toward Freedom a periodical based in Chile reports that the humans who live there have a thirst' for energy and electricity to the extent of devouring the Patagonia's Pascua River. This river is home to the Southern Patagonian Ice Field, the largest in the world outside of Antarctica and Greenland, the region is one of Chile's most powerful rivers, which flows from a hidden corner of Lago O'Higgins, South America's deepest lake (more than 830 meters).

The hydroelectric project being planned by Endesa, a Spanish-Italian enterprise, and Colbn, a Chilean energy company owned by the influential Matte family, are charging full speed ahead to rid this country of its natural resources. Joining them is company called HidroAysn and they are planning to build five massive dams in Aysn that would generate some 2,750 MW of electricity. That is roughly equivalent to 20 percent of Chile's current overall generating capacity. Three dams are slated for the Pascua. The other two would be built along the Baker River, Chile's most voluminous, which is located farther north.

They take, but they do not give back, it is all a matter of profit but not for the river, the eco-systems and ecologies that they destroy in the process. Our lifeline to existence destroyed, in the name of the all mighty dollar.

Dead Zone Off Texas Coast Existed Since 1985.

The Scientific Daily reports that researchers at Texas A&M University have confirmed for the first time that a dead zone' the dead zone area off the Texas coast extends from the Texas-Louisiana border area to Brownsville. A dead zone occurs when there is hypoxia, or oxygen-depleted water.

Such low levels of oxygen are caused by pollution from farm fertilizers as they empty into rivers and eventually the Gulf or by soil erosion or discharge from sewage treatment plants. This dead zone has existed off the Texas coast for at least the past 23 years and will likely remain there, causing potential harmful effects to marine life in the area. I daresay this will cause harmful and fatal effects to the human population in general. Dead water means stagnant, undrinkable water by any mammal. It also cultivates bacteria that we have no anti-biotic to combat, as it is a super bacterial virus that has already survived the nuclear wastes, oil drills and its backlash of pollution.

Is Lake Mead Disappearing?

The water supply crisis is not just a third world issue. ENN reports that Nevada's Lake Mead, the largest man-made lake and reservoir in the U.S., could go dry by 2021, (that is 13 years from 2008) claim scientists at the Scripp's Institute of Oceanography in San Diego, California. With human-induced climate change and water usage continuing at the present rate of 1.3 million people depending on electricity from the Lake and 8 million people drinking its water, there is a 50% chance the lake will go dry in the very near future. The Colorado River's Water is being consumed far beyond a sustainable level. If we hit an all time high of drought with the current global warming conditions, matters will worsen quickly and will result in fatality of humans and other species that depend on this water for survival.

Coral Reefs Are Dying Out

Because of changes to the microbes that live in them just as much as from the direct rise in temperature caused by global warming. Changes in sea temperature caused by climate change and global warming affect corals, but they also affect the types of bacteria and other micro-flora that live with them. When the water warms up, disease-causing bacteria are more successful and can attack the corals. The corals themselves suffer from heat. The friendly bacteria that normally live in the corals' guts become weakened, allowing other harmful bacteria to multiply and cause diseases.

Society for General Microbiology has stated that for many communities in developing countries, which rely on coral reefs for their fisheries and tourism income, the loss of coral reefs has major impacts on their economies. They also lose valuable coastal land to coastal erosion, affecting human welfare in the communities.

Will Great Rivers Die?

These scientists are not trying to scare us into believing we have a drinkable water shortage, they are reporting the facts of the current human consumption. We as humans, have ZERO percent chance of survival without water. We need to consider and demand that serious conservation programs and restrictions be put in place.

Which brings me back to my original thought and I quote from a wise one:

A Cree Indian Prophecy

"Only after the Last Tree has been cut down,
Only after the Last River has been poisoned,
Only after the Last Fish has been caught,
Only then will you find that
Money Cannot Be Eaten."

S urrounding ourselves with sacred sounds,
O nly the vowels for the divine circle around.
U nconditional love the key to humanity,
N on-conformity wrong to society?
D etrimental to mortals born with civil rights ...

O ften spirituality religions fight.
F oresight concludes that we earned the inner sight.

T ormenting generations to support their dogma chain.
H allowed is the name of divinity whence we once came,
E nriching our spiritual growth is our set goal for a given name.

D rumming to the deeper beat of our own inner vibration,
I nternally the mystical life force of creation.
S editiousley defying the laws laid down by the faithless organized;
T yrants to us of light and energy, omnipotent and scrutinized.
A nonymously we wait in all of our diversity,
N otorious due to our solid stance of stability
T oday is all we make it, tomorrow not our concern ...

D ormant we lay until rising is called fully to term.
R econciling the numinous world in which we live and breathe
U nitarily learning to be human as in this life we weave,
M aximize our intake to the sound of the distant drum.

I chopped it myself and it shows.  I have a 'thinning comb' that kind of feathers my hair and every 2 months or so I cut off my bangs and 'thin' them out with this comb.  Otherwise, it grows long and wild looking....

The tree of life through the portal I see
Forbidden by men though transparent I be
To eat of the fruit and of the knowledge partake
Though it is only my own soul that here is at stake

Who are they to tell me what is mine
And weather or not I can use my mind?
They lack integrity and possess much greed
As they seek their soul from wisdom freed.

I will partake of this tree and leave water for her roots
May man sink to his knees in his gluttonous boots.
As he may see the divine is unattainable and lost
I find it embraces me and as female pay the cost.

Woman I am, and have free will to take upon my own sin
As well my own orgasm that he will not participate in.
For though I be transparent today
Tomorrow will see me whole as I weigh ...

The scales are unbalanced and chaotic now due to him
Who thinks not with brains but with his phallus' whim
I will set to right what has been wrong
And let him hear my chant of song.

Creativity 
(an acrostic)

Combusting simultaneously are the intellect and the emotion

Reinforced by the Muse coercing the constant grind of the commotion.

Every fiber of my essence is in tune with my Muse of Cobalt blue

Anticipated is the expression and message coming from me to you.

Technically, it is thought impossible to be logically emotional

Intense, intricate and multi-faceted as emotionally logical.

Vivacious enough to say the words as they are clearly seen

In the past, present and future though some term it as obscene.

Tumultuous in disposition and continuously extreme

Yet concise, to the point of precision while describing the dream.

Customized vision for human linear interpretation

Responsible and respectful while relaying the emotion.

Enter realms of the mystical to realize a truth stated.

Anguish overwhelms me simplistically though complicated.

Tenaciously honing in on the sight of my heart, ears of my soul

Inner turmoil persists though I must comprehend and come to know.

Voluminous visions of tragedy and great circumstance will come to pass

In light of the very recent ignorance of our barbaric and senseless past.

Time will not await us as it continues onward in retribution

Yesterday war ravished our planet as a human contribution.

Creative forces must destroy effectively taking root

Regardless of the implications that our time here is mute.

Erasing our histories with technology for mass destruction

Answering our own stupidity destroying our own constitution.

Torrid will the airs and waters be as our futile efforts will then come to play

In an attempt to murder mother earth and magick as we deny our forte.

Victims we are due to our own demise

Instinct forgotten over a short time.

Tomorrow will bring only what we devastate today

Yesterday demolished as we create the cabaret.

Creativity

There you have it, there it is and so it goes...